It’s been ages since I wrote a blog post. And what I’ve written below is nothing like any of the previous posts I have done. I wrote this, on my phone, while sitting on a bench overlooking the bay where I live, waiting for the sun to come up. I’d been up for near 36 hours straight and had more alcohol than I would usually have had in one night, actually more than in a month. I had intended to write an email and it became more of a journal entry. I’ve only edited misspelled and missing words, otherwise this is me – uncensored, at least in that hour or so that I sat writing this. I debated actually posting this, because honestly it seems sort of juvenile. Then I recognized that was me caring about what other people think of me. That I’d written this to help me work towards figuring out a confusing situation and that maybe it would be helpful to others who have had or could have the same experience to not feel alone in their thoughts. So given that disclaimer, chose to read or don’t. It is entirely up to you.