When I saw the set Kibitz had made for Fantasy Gacha Carnival this time my first thought was – Scheherazade. She who married a king and was saved from death by keeping him intrigued with tales she told each night. That’s the simplified version. Of course my brain works in a disjointed, yet related way and had me leap from Scheherazade to Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, from Ali Baba to the Aladdin, and now I have “Friend Like Me” from the Disney version of Aladdin stuck in my head. See how that works? Completely understandable, right?
I have a good friend who has been going through a tough time lately. Besides being sick, she has been dealing with an overwhelming sense of the blahs. Having those blahs myself on occasion, I can empathize with how she feels. (*sends out huge hugs*) We all have our moments of being down, of feeling lost or alone, of thinking that there’s no hope. The thing to remember is that you aren’t the only person who feels that way.
Of all the things I’ve believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I’ve been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I’m hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I’m starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to…
It’s been ages since I wrote a blog post. And what I’ve written below is nothing like any of the previous posts I have done. I wrote this, on my phone, while sitting on a bench overlooking the bay where I live, waiting for the sun to come up. I’d been up for near 36 hours straight and had more alcohol than I would usually have had in one night, actually more than in a month. I had intended to write an email and it became more of a journal entry. I’ve only edited misspelled and missing words, otherwise this is me – uncensored, at least in that hour or so that I sat writing this. I debated actually posting this, because honestly it seems sort of juvenile. Then I recognized that was me caring about what other people think of me. That I’d written this to help me work towards figuring out a confusing situation and that maybe it would be helpful to others who have had or could have the same experience to not feel alone in their thoughts. So given that disclaimer, chose to read or don’t. It is entirely up to you.